I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
