Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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