I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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