I should be sponsored by Trojan
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
