How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
