Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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