grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
