i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
