i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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