Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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