Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
