I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
