he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
only you would photoshop your dick
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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