Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My ass is underappreciated
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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