No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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