tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
