is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
