nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize