He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
