So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
