I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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