so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
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