Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
