____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
