hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
