Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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