I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize