I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
