i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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