I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Too much gin, very little bucket
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
