Sacagawea was the original milf.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
