Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
