Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I need water and some morals
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
