He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
