thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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