I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
