thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
