I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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