That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
