Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i permit you to call me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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