You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
