Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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