Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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