I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
