How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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