and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
