i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
