Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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