I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
