omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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