My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize