I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
