i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
