uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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