Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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