He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
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The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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