So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
