In the future we'll all be gay
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
