dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize