Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
