i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
